Post by Arthur Kirkland on Mar 20, 2011 13:59:58 GMT -5
[Interviews with the staff and actors of the Hetalian International Theatre. Feel free to post your own press 'interview'.]
Transcript of the Press Conference for the Opening of the Hetalian International Theatre
Press Agent: Thank you all for coming today. Mister Kirkland will be handling all of your questions regarding the opening of the theatre. Please keep your questions brief, and let’s not overwhelm him all at once. Transcripts will be available after the conference ends. Now let’s get started. First question?
Reporter #1: What made you decide on the location for the theatre to be built here of all places? And do you anticipate there being a strong market with all of your competitors?
Kirkland: Our competition is not much of an issue for us, considering the uniqueness of what we offer at H.I.T.. The theatre will be a completely international affair in a way that most avenues are not. We have brought some of the best of the world’s talents into our nest; this provides us an edge of entertainment value that shadows the rest. And this location is a prime spot. Not only is the space in a central, easily accessed location, but there’s also a coffee hut close at hand.
Reporter #2: Your group has done an exceptional job of keeping the identity of your primary financial contributor a secret. Are there any plans for your anonymous patron to come forward with their identity or identities?
Kirkland: If my employer does decide to come forward, that is entirely at their own discretion. I respect their decision to remain anonymous throughout the course of this project and will continue to honour their wishes on the matter. It isn’t my position to divulge such details for them – I’m merely the mouthpiece.
Reporter #3: Can you give us any indication of what your production schedule looks like for the first course of the season?
Kirkland: The staff is still finalizing decisions as to what will be staged in our first season. However, I can assure you that we will be featuring a broad range of shows. Our goal is not to stick to one particular production, but to provide entertainment across multiple genres. Classic shows, edgy rock musicals, and some of the more quirky pieces that are out in the market today.
Reporter #4: Rumour has it that H.I.T. has hired staff members from around the globe as well, and isn’t simply limited to just an international cast. Do you expect there to be conflicts considering the volatile relations between countries in the world today?
Kirkland: No, not at all. I am more concerned over what stresses inside the theatre will cause my staff members to be at each other’s throats. Outside issues really have no place within the walls of our new home. The staff members should, I hope, understand this -- especially if they wish to continue their employment.
Reporter #5: Your reputation in the industry of performance arts and theatre history is extensive. Yet it seems that you are usually brought in to turn around places when they seem on the verge of failure. Is your involvement in this project from the start some indication that the contributor is afraid of the theatre failing?
Kirkland: No. My presence at this theatre was decided when I became discouraged by the thought of constantly traveling. While I would still offer my services if a theatre made a good case on the matter of trying to assist them, I am happier to be in one location now. It gives me a sturdy hook to hang my jacket.
Reporter #6: It’s been ten years since your last gig. Now that you are settled in one place, can we expect an album from Iggy and the Pops anytime in the near future?
Kirkland: . . .I am no longer in the music industry. Next question.
Reporter #7: Following up on that last – is there any plans at all to have any sort of reunion amongst the surviving members of the band?
Kirkland: No comment. This topic is irrelevant to what we came here to discuss.
Reporter #8: Do you have any plans at all to return to the stage yourself, whether in music or theatre?
Kirkland: I have no such plans. Are there any further questions concerning H.I.T.?
Press Agent: Ah, right. Mister Kirkland has just requested that we end the press conference here. Any further questions from the press can be submitted in writing through my agency. We thank you all for coming. No further questions, please! No further questions.
Transcript of the Press Conference for the Opening of the Hetalian International Theatre
Press Agent: Thank you all for coming today. Mister Kirkland will be handling all of your questions regarding the opening of the theatre. Please keep your questions brief, and let’s not overwhelm him all at once. Transcripts will be available after the conference ends. Now let’s get started. First question?
Reporter #1: What made you decide on the location for the theatre to be built here of all places? And do you anticipate there being a strong market with all of your competitors?
Kirkland: Our competition is not much of an issue for us, considering the uniqueness of what we offer at H.I.T.. The theatre will be a completely international affair in a way that most avenues are not. We have brought some of the best of the world’s talents into our nest; this provides us an edge of entertainment value that shadows the rest. And this location is a prime spot. Not only is the space in a central, easily accessed location, but there’s also a coffee hut close at hand.
Reporter #2: Your group has done an exceptional job of keeping the identity of your primary financial contributor a secret. Are there any plans for your anonymous patron to come forward with their identity or identities?
Kirkland: If my employer does decide to come forward, that is entirely at their own discretion. I respect their decision to remain anonymous throughout the course of this project and will continue to honour their wishes on the matter. It isn’t my position to divulge such details for them – I’m merely the mouthpiece.
Reporter #3: Can you give us any indication of what your production schedule looks like for the first course of the season?
Kirkland: The staff is still finalizing decisions as to what will be staged in our first season. However, I can assure you that we will be featuring a broad range of shows. Our goal is not to stick to one particular production, but to provide entertainment across multiple genres. Classic shows, edgy rock musicals, and some of the more quirky pieces that are out in the market today.
Reporter #4: Rumour has it that H.I.T. has hired staff members from around the globe as well, and isn’t simply limited to just an international cast. Do you expect there to be conflicts considering the volatile relations between countries in the world today?
Kirkland: No, not at all. I am more concerned over what stresses inside the theatre will cause my staff members to be at each other’s throats. Outside issues really have no place within the walls of our new home. The staff members should, I hope, understand this -- especially if they wish to continue their employment.
Reporter #5: Your reputation in the industry of performance arts and theatre history is extensive. Yet it seems that you are usually brought in to turn around places when they seem on the verge of failure. Is your involvement in this project from the start some indication that the contributor is afraid of the theatre failing?
Kirkland: No. My presence at this theatre was decided when I became discouraged by the thought of constantly traveling. While I would still offer my services if a theatre made a good case on the matter of trying to assist them, I am happier to be in one location now. It gives me a sturdy hook to hang my jacket.
Reporter #6: It’s been ten years since your last gig. Now that you are settled in one place, can we expect an album from Iggy and the Pops anytime in the near future?
Kirkland: . . .I am no longer in the music industry. Next question.
Reporter #7: Following up on that last – is there any plans at all to have any sort of reunion amongst the surviving members of the band?
Kirkland: No comment. This topic is irrelevant to what we came here to discuss.
Reporter #8: Do you have any plans at all to return to the stage yourself, whether in music or theatre?
Kirkland: I have no such plans. Are there any further questions concerning H.I.T.?
Press Agent: Ah, right. Mister Kirkland has just requested that we end the press conference here. Any further questions from the press can be submitted in writing through my agency. We thank you all for coming. No further questions, please! No further questions.